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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 

Why do people hurt and get hurt?

Feelings of hurt and pain are normal parts of everyday life. There must have been days when you must have been begging for sleep.you would want to sleep, but never would it embrace you and you wake up in the morning with a sick feeling.you would be struggling with anguish, isolate yourself from the entire world, feel like relinquishing your life, burn away your aspirations and blurt in pain.These are all signs of hurt caused by emotional and mental suffering. When someone lashes out at another person, they are expressing their hurt in a destructive and irresponsible manner.

Most people pounce on others as they do, when they do, not because they want to cause pain, but because they’re afraid of being hurt. To see this truth is to realize that the real enemy of relationship is fear itself; for this dark state that dwells in the heart knows that the best way to protect itself is by being first to find fault with another.

There are typically four stages as how people express their negative emotion .It initially starts with anxiety, anger, regression and ends in depression.Its better to vent out the anger without hurting others.

I went through an interesting article which give some guidelines to control anger which is the primary outlet of hurt

four questions that you should ask yourself:

  • Important? Is this matter important to me?
  • Appropriate? Is what I am feeling and thinking appropriate to the facts of the situation?
  • Modifiable? Is the situation modifiable in ways that will reduce my negative feelings or thoughts?
  • Worth it? When I balance the needs of myself and others, is it worth taking action?

These four questions can help you manage your anger. If you answer yes to the first question, go to the second. Even if you have four yeses and you think you have to take action, it doesn't mean you blow up. You just practice assertiveness.

Here are some ways to deal with anger:

  • Exercise. This is a natural mood elevator and a great stress buster.
  • Count to 10 and breathe slowly. Deep breathing slows heart rate and blood pressure.
  • Express your emotions on paper. Then throw the paper away.
  • Avoid using statements that start with "You." This puts people on the defensive and makes a volatile situation even worse. Start sentences with "I feel" or "I think."
  • Cry and laugh

We can't avoid getting hurt, let's atleast avoid hurting people.If we cant do that, let's know how get out from hurt.If even that is not possible, let's know that we are atleast hurt or hurting people!!!!

This article is very good. Thank you

i stumbled across this by googling y nice ppl get hurt i googled this b/c i have been hurt from being nice my biggest hurt is about my ex keeping my children from me well he has no reason too what i can do to correct the situation wont help i need an outside help like a lawyer but i think to help someone evaluate a situation u might need more questions than that b/c if something hurts you obviously it is important to you or you would let it go and it would not bother you so much

Very good article. It has helped me overcome my negative thoughts. Thank you

Wow!..Great post..Actually I was looking for posts that are "emotion-related" and thanks I found this!

Wonderful thoughts to control anger..thanks for posting and Take care

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